Dark Rising: Bring Your Battle Axe (2007)

Director:darkrising

Andrew Cymek

Writer:

Andrew Cymek

Cast:

Landy Cannon – Jason Parks

Brigitte Kingsley – Summer Vale

Julia Schneider – Renee

Jason Reso – Ricky

Vanessa James – Jasmine

Haley Shannon – Marlene

Lara Fenton – Christy

 

Well, I have not been watching nearly as many movie as I have wanted to lately, in fact I haven’t really been watching much of anything because I needed to catch up on my reviews. This has been one of the movies to stump me frankly because I have not wanted to review it for some reason. It’s not that its horrible movie but I’m hoping with this review that I will be able persuade you from watching this one. I know that this is not a good sales pitch for the film but unless your are one of those people who are into watching bad movies then you really shouldn’t put yours eyes through this.

The story is something that is an interesting one, and by interesting one I feel like this is a nerds wet dream. We have two universes, the one we live in and one that is a fantasy world full of monsters and women who wear practically nothing while they slay the evil demons. In our world we have Jason Parks. A loser who lost his ex-girlfriend to another woman and still manages to be completely hung up on her. It’s not that she is this awesome character full of depth and a complex background because she certainly does not. Anyways for some reason they all are going camping together, along with Jason’s friend Ricky and Renee who is a girl that for some reason is having dreams of the other world and is into witchcraft. Now I have had an ex who decided to leave me for someone and else and frankly I really never want to deal with her again, once things went down neither did any of my friends so this whole thing is something that seems very ludicrous to me. What kind of friend is Ricky to allow this type of crap anyways? I know he does 1-900 phone line commercials but come on.

So dumb witchcraft chick is using a book that she had gotten earlier and opens a portal to the second dimension and of course a demon makes his way through and so does Summer Vale. Now Summer is a girl from our world that was brought over there and is now a demon slayer… or something like that. Now this may not seem that bad but lets look at some of the actors. Landy Cannon plays this whinny pathetic character, the main character at this. When it comes to main characters I want someone I can root for and get behind but this guy just is not him. Brigitte Kingsley is alright in her role, in fact most of the women are, because for the most part there is not a single moment that anything deep is needed so aI have no clue if any of them are actresses worth looking for. In fact the only actor I was happy to see on screen is Jason Reso, for those of you who have no clue who that is he is the professional wrestler Christian who works for the WWE. He was a sleeve ball but I liked him in the role because he does kind of look like a bro.

The effects and the sound of the film both come across as a college project. Not like a film schools thesis but something I can see some college students using for a way to use what they had just learned in class. It’s not that is the worst I have ever seen, in fact they may actually be talented but it looks very low budget. Now if you have Christian, you have two women who are totally cool playing very active lesbians and there is minor nudity so we know where the budget when to. I liked Christian in the movie but if it meant that we had a better looking movie with someone else in the role I may have gone for it.

We have a movie that is not over sure what it wants to be. It wants to do a movie full of special effects but not have the budget for it. There s some attempt at comedy that was frankly wasn’t all that funny. And instead of putting money to what it should have been (writing, effects) they put it into attractive women who were easily replaceable.

Grade F

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2 comments

  1. RH Wraitmore · · Reply

    I saw this movie a while back and completely agree. It’s possible to make a good low budget movie and include interesting story lines, etc.. however this movie is just plain bad on many levels. So much so that it is quite obvious. The acting is below average to average, the effects definitely looked like a college type attempt and the story development is average. The writer/director Andrew Cymek puts forth a weak effort in really developing this film. It seems like it was either rushed or not well thought out, I’m not sure what else to say. Some ok acting from Christian, but that’s about it. The actress that plays Summer does not do a convincing job as a lead, this was one fact that stuck out most. Bad bad choice in choosing a lead actress that is simply amateur at best. Out of 10, I would give it a 3. Some better acting and a better scripted storyline might have made this movie enjoyable.

    1. Its sad that it really had to be a different movie in order to make it a good movie.

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