Gnome Alone (2015)

Directors:gnome-alone

Timothy Woodward Jr.

John Michael Elfers

Writers:

Lauren De Normandie

John Michael Elfers

Cast:

Verne Troyer – The Gnome

Kerry Knuppe – Zoe

Bill Oberst Jr. – Mr Glippen

Marlon Young – Detective Drennan

Ross Bagley – Landon

Travis Eberhard – The Leprechaun

Josh Berger – Logan

Matt Cinquanta – Detective Clayton

Willow Hale – Ms. Mae

 

This movie starts out with a combination of animation and live action… basically the whole movie could have been avoided if some chick didn’t get greedy. A witch steals the gold from a Leprechaun (which looked so much better than the new Leprechaun film) and he gets even but somehow the witch needs to have the last laugh. Somehow while having two woman have sex in the swamp they were able to create a gnome to kill the people that scared he for life.

The opening monologue goes on for 5 minutes and really beats you over the head with the story. I have said this countless time in my reviews that I really wish they would try to find a way to show the story instead of just telling us. It would have made the opening much more entertaining. I liked the style of the animation but I don’t think it needed the dialogue… they could have portrayed it better. All of this being said I think the movie could have been better if they had just skipped the whole thing and left a little mystery.

The acting on the part of pretty much everyone is awful. Verne Troyer will never win any awards for his work in this movie. This all being said there was one that I felt actually put on a good performance and that was Kerry Knuppe, she has 2 other films that she has been in and because of her job in this movie I am interested in seeing the rest of her work. I think her character Zoey was one of the only characters that seemed to have been written with more than just a stereotype in mind, her life is pretty much hell.

The first kills were done off screen and awful. We end up seeing a guy pulled under a car and show back up to spit up stuff that may have been organs. The second one was this dude who gets stabbed in the eye with his keys and falls on top of a gnome statue. The hat somehow was longer and it stabbed through the back of the head… but it looked like he was trying to give the thing a blowjob. Something that really pisses me off is the CG blood, instead of doing it that way why couldn’t they just get a dude to spray blood through a tube like they should have. This is how all of the kills looked, cheap and poorly done. One that I found bothersome is the one were the guy has his cock cut off.

It’s been a long time since I mentioned music as part of my review but this movie has some of the worst music in a horror movie that I have seen in a long time. The porn music mixed with want to be nu metal was just awkward and instead of enhancing the film I was watching it pulled me way out of it.

The good was Knuppe, she was a good actress with some promise but sadly it has to end there with me… well  The soft core porn that they were alluding to in a lot of scenes was offense due to the juvenile nature in which it was written. The music was bad and the cg was awful but the biggest offender was the writing that was just plain bad. It was hard to sit through and I have watched my fair share of crap. The end was something that was coming… like I could see this happening but I was already over the film to even care.

Grade F

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